Spending the last hour listening to a featured talk with Dr. Tana M. Session on forgiveness of others, self worth, owning your power, and so much more girl talk was so refreshing.
Forgiveness of others. NOT EASY. Sometimes those that you feel need to ask for forgiveness from you, don’t. They often may not even realize that they made you feel some type of way, but YOU need to forgive so you can carry on to be at peace with yourself. When you’re not forgiving yourself or others, you often may not feel like you’re actually successful. You sometimes feel stuck or held back. You continue to question yourself and second guess yourself.
We get trapped into thinking it’s bad to promote ourselves and talk about our accomplishments. One of the things highlighted right at the beginning of the webinar was bios. HOW AWKWARD DO YOU GET WHEN SOMEONE READS YOUR BIO OUT LOUD TO A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE? All of those thoughts go through your head…. What do I do with my hands? Am I supposed to smile? Do I look at the floor? Ugh, should I have not added that part? Do I sound stuck up? Does this make me seem like I’m so obsessed with myself? Do people think I’m actually as great as I think I am? Omg, why does my bio seem 456543 years long? What if I don’t live up to what my bio makes me appear to be?
Yup. All of those things. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
Hearing to use adversity as fuel, and not as excuses was also nice to hear. We make excuses for ourself without even realizing how much we actually have accomplished.
People say it all of the time, “don’t compare to others” … I definitely fall into that trap all of the time.
- What do I really know about social media?
- People assume I just know social media related things because I’m a millennial.
- So many people claim to be “social media specialists” but just graduated college or barely have any experience. How do I not get clumped into that group?
It was nice to hear Dr. Session say “own your own lane and your own space.” Because it’s so true. I’m only 1 person out of 19827673829394 people. ONE PERSON. If I own who I am, my space, my skills, my knowledge, my everything, I’ll be just fine. It’s such a basic concept and simple words, but on this call we were able to go deeper within and beneath all of us (in our heads, since you know, we’re all sitting on our couch).
“I had to build my own lane.
I had to stop turning to the left or to the right.”
– Dr. Session.
Not comparing your journey to someone else isn’t always easy, especially when we spiral into instagram posts and clicking and clicking and clicking … then we end up on random pages of “I wish I had that” or “I want that” or “how did they get that” or “woah, so cool. I need that.”
Owning your power, and owning your truth… this was a hot topic amongst the group. If you don’t own it, someone else will try to for you. This hit me hard last week, and this was the perfect time to hear it reiterated today. If you own your own truth, you don’t have to worry about anyone else doing it for you. READ THAT AGAIN. It’s so true and feels so simple listening to it. The truth doesn’t hurt, it helps. Especially when you’re in control of sharing it.
A great takeaway from that part of the presentation was that you never know how your journey and truth is going to free someone else. You can’t heal from what you don’t reveal, and sometimes talking outloud is the best way to do it. Why not help yourself while helping others just by sharing your experience? (p.s. A nice reminder from Dr. Session that tears are a cleansing, so try it out sometimes).
If you don’t own your worth, someone will try to tell you how much you’re worth. The dreaded topic of asking for a raise… “Their money problems are not your money problems.” Being aware of that ^^^ without hesitation and without apology is HUGE. If you know the value you can provide, why wouldn’t you want to be paid for that? Name your price and the right clients or employer will come on board. If you don’t name your price, someone else will tell you where you belong. Be ok with being told no sometimes. Because it will happen. And by hearing no and accepting it, you’re paving the way to make room for the right person to step right up.
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“There comes a time in life when you realize that
where you ARE is no longer where you should BE.”
– Oprah
You have to have those conversations with yourself. The ones about your destiny, where you see yourself and how you want your days to be (now and in the future). The earth is healing due to less pollution, less craziness but we’re all changing our habits. And that’s what’s happening to us… we’re also healing.
The idea of a work/life balance doesn’t reaaaally exist, especially now. But what’s important is that you have healthy boundaries when you’re committing to one or the other. If you’re at work, make sure your mom and friends know so they’re not calling you or interrupting your flow, your current full present state of doing your job the best way you know how.
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Some additional random notes:
- If you’re drinking the poison and hope the other person dies, you’re never going to get the outcome you want. Stand up for yourself and stop taking so many hits that don’t align with who you are and who you’re trying to be.
- Age discrimination is a real thing. REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL THING. Thank you ladies on the call for letting me share my most recent experience with this!
- “Women are supposed to be seen, and not heard.” We aren’t taught to share or ~brag~ about ourselves. So we continue to rise up, expand out girl gangs, and talk about what we need to do more of to crawl around the box we’ve grown up in.
- Think about what names women are called. Think about it. Laugh about it because it’s so absurd. Think about it some more. Realize that it’s not funny. But so not funny that it’s awkward it happens so often. So often that it catches off guard at times when it happens because our initial reaction is to awkwardly laugh. Think about it some more. Become aware of it. Stand up against it. And speak up for yourself, and for others.
- Men are uncomfortable with woman who stand in their power. The end.
- That “would they have said that if you were a man” crosses women’s mind SO often. You are not alone.
- Break that glass ceiling and be okay with being the only one at the table.
- We have to be willing to stand up for ourselves.
The ladies at Girls With Goals Who Give said it best , thank you Dr. Tana M. Session for being that person for us today.
Danielle Chylinski 